Don't beat around the bush ... Throw yourself into it!

I know what I know

I'll sing what I said

That's a thing that I keep

In the back of my head

We had a pea party the other night. A carnival of open-mouthed clowns and some kids to piff peas straight into them. Man, do they roll? Yes they do. There was a lone pea in the hallway the next morning. It made me smile and think of you, my pea cunt. Did you feel embraced with the love of the CC's yesterday morning when you opened your front door to a sea of two minute noodles? I can see your face in that moment and hear your snort. (Chuckle, Dr Hibbert?)

It's your first day at school! I'm in your pocket all day today - squeeze me if you need to.

It's very windy today. There's no doubt about it.

P.S. You are a cunt. You're never around. We* should call you BIC and graduate Ron to Assistant Head Cunt. All you need to do is say 'yes'. It's easy. You should try it.

* The royal fkn 'WE'. It can't be helped but it's mighty irritating. Especially when you are included in something that you don't want to be. An opinion of some sort and you're just sat there feeling like you've been bound and gagged. Spoken for (not in the good way). Like the guy in Office Space. 'Excuse me, I believe you have my stapler...' And then later, 'I could set the building on fire.' (Which reminds me - Damn it feels good to be a gangsta.) I think I actually do speak for all of us when I use 'WE' and if I don't, well - FUCK EWE ALL. Another footnote that's longer than it needs to be.

I exist in the realm of brackets and footnotes. That's my metaphor and I'm sticking to it.

(Oh, fk it! There's this MP3 that I really want you to hear. It's funny as all get out. Next time I see you, I'll force it upon you. It's a Stephen Merchant rant about a pig called Vera. Very funny. Ooh, Heart of Glass just came on. Must go. Can't type with one hand.)