The Last Word

I wonder what kind of a handicap (or perhaps advantage) it might be for English to be your second language. To learn the differences in tenses, and when to use certain words in place of others, and most interestingly - to learn the many meanings of some words. We have words that mean different things in different contexts. We have only one word for some things that other languages have many. (I think snowflake is one.) And the oft talked about fact that there doesn't exist in the English language a word for a parent who loses a child. (A child who loses a parent is an orphan, a husband who loses a wife is a widower and so on) But a parent who loses a child?

I don't know how I'd cope trying to learn the English language for the first time as an adult. I have a hard enough time coming to grips with broad concepts, let alone the nuances and intricacies of our language.

I mean you can regularly patronise a shop (a rather emotionless experience, unless it's for a mixed bag of lollies or Amazon.com). You can go there, spend time. Patronise. Ok, got it. Understand. But, hang on a minute, how can someone BE patronising to another person?

This is where my (Greek, Italian, Lithuanian, Chinese) acronym for KDS would pop up. How can this word mean two completely different things? The English language has over 500,000 words. I reckon, at a guess, we could trade around 10,000 of these words (bin them) and make up some new ones so that the existing ones don't need to share meanings.

I was petrified! (Utterly terrified, scared out of my wits)

I was petrified (Literally frozen) *

I was thinking about this after I got a FB wall post from Antonella Gambotto. She wrote: 'Amazon is the opiate of literate escapists'. It actually made me laugh out loud. I felt vindicated. I mean, on the one hand, I'm an escapist (negative connotations). On the other, I'm literate! (positive, one would think) What a great line. That line had the power to eradicate my guilt over spending pennies that I don't actually have. The guilt is gone. The need to buy again hasn't replaced this. What does this leave me with? I suppose it's a nice little revelation.

I realised something the other night, LM. I was spooked. That guy, you know, the c who we sometimes want to WAKE UP and comment our comments? He's scarily scarily scarily like S. I heard an interview he did and the similarities are pretty astounding. It's almost like they lived parallel lives, and 'he whose name cannot be mentioned' got the good life, and S drew the short straw. (I know that life is what you make it. I don't believe you can control everything, but I do believe that you can make the best of whatever situation you find yourself in. But then, I haven't suffered a stroke and been mentally decimated for years on end, so what do I know?)**

On a lighter note, Noel Fielding has a really beautiful voice. I don't really know how to describe it. I suppose you can decide for yourself. I imagine it's a voice that would fit perfectly to a man in a club, the heady atmosphere, a random happy conversation. One that you would forget the details*** of in an instant, but a conversation that you would never forget.

* Yes, smart cunt, I'm a PC. Lifted from AG, of course.
** Rhetorical
*** Don't forget (depending on which quote you think of) the DEVIL is in the details. I've never been one for details.